|Series:||Stupid Mario Brothers|
|Home World:||Real World|
|Debut:||A Monkey for your Thoughts?|
|Conclusion:||Stupid Mario World|
|Portrayer:||Richard Michael Alvarez|
The UPS man, typically referred to as UPS, is a package deliveryman in Stupid Mario Brothers. In his youth, he was a very talented football player. Being hit by a FedEx truck led him to join UPS and oppose the company that cost him his former NFL career.
Being the most successful package delivery company in the world, UPS often overshadows FedEx, who constantly tries to thwart UPS and become the more successful, but he has never managed to overpower UPS.
UPS is known to be a wonderful singer, singing "The Sign" by Ace of Base every time he appears. He once filled in for Mario when Johnny Mushroom and the Kingdoms needed a replacement lead singer. At the end of "The Super Mario Brothers," he sings "So Far Away" by Carole King.
Before he was a delivery man, UPS was a football player. He played in high school and in college before he was drafted by the NFL as a starter for the Raiders. However, he was hit by a FedEx truck before his first game at Qualcomm Stadium, rendering him incapable of playing football ever again.
Since that day, UPS dedicated his life to opposing FedEx in every way possible, resulting in him joining UPS. ("Episode 69")
After Donkey Kong chases Mario and Luigi around because he thinks they stole his bananas and is about to kill them, UPS delivers the gorilla a letter from Diddy Kong that got lost. Mario and Luigi ask him not to leave them alone with Donkey Kong. Unfortunately for the Mario Brothers, UPS tells them that he has more packages to deliver and bids them farewell before leaving. ("A Monkey for your Thoughts?")
Later on, he delivers a package to Ash, the box containing a Pokéball that is supposed to contain a Pikachu that he ordered on Amazon.com. However, when he opens the Pokéball, it doesn't work. Extremely shocked and furious, Ash blames the UPS man for this and pulls him from the collar of his shirt, threatening to report him to people who are affiliated with him, including his mother. UPS tells Ash that he wouldn't do that, but Ash insists that he would. UPS explains to the Pokémon trainer that he delivered the package as-is and had nothing to do with its condition before leaving.
Afterwards, UPS has to deliver a giant package to Mario and Luigi from the Mushroom Kingdom, but is confronted by FedEx when King Bowser wants the package to return to him. UPS and FedEx fight and UPS is able to defeat him easily. UPS gets the package to Mario and Luigi safely and then returns to home to play Super Smash Brothers Brawl as Solid Snake. ("Special Delivery from a Guy dressed in Brown")
At one point, before Mario and Luigi can fight Wario and Waluigi, FedEx appears to assist the Wario Brothers. Fortunately, during the battle, UPS appears and helps Mario and Luigi by knocking out FedEx. ("Stupid Smash Brothers")
UPS appears when Ash and Brock accuse him and FedEx of ripping them off after delivering the two of them faulty Pokéballs. However, UPS and FedEx protest that they'd never rip people off. Then DHL arrives and reveals that he sabotaged their packages. UPS tries to convince the others that they should be focusing on getting Ash and Brock actual Pokeballs, but he gets caught up in the battle between DHL and FedEx and the trio face each other. UPS and FedEx team up to defeat DHL, but FedEx is punched out by UPS. ("Draino won't unclog these Pipes")
Eventually, UPS reappears to deliver a letter to Mario on the day of Johnny Mushroom and the Kingdoms' big concert, but Mario isn't there at the time because he is sick at home. Upon his leaving, the band instantly notices that UPS can sing very well and ask him to fill in for Mario for the concert. He gladly accepts, but the band still doesn't have any instruments. It turns out that Wario and Waluigi stole them to ruin the concert. Fortunately, this is soon resolved when Johnny Mushroom and the Kingdoms decides to sing a Capella instead, thus foiling Wario's plan. ("Who is Scott Masterson?")
UPS receives a package from the crazy fan containing Mario and Luigi's hats. While delivering the package, UPS crosses paths with the duo. He tells Luigi that he got the package from her, then tells them where to find her. The package just happens to be their hats, but Mario and Luigi don't know that at the time. UPS then leaves to deliver the package to Ash at his house. ("Regeneration")
Solid Snake hires UPS to deliver a package to Otacon that contains "sensitive and valuable stuff". FedEx then appears, claiming to have overheard the conversation and states he should deliver the package. However, Solid Snake says that he doesn't care who delivers the package, as long as the task is done. Then UPS runs off with the package, with FedEx chasing him.
During the chase, UPS runs into a house and reaches a dead end. FedEx catches up with him and demands he gives the package over to him. Suddenly, USPS appears on a television screen and brags about how he can do so much more than they can before using his teleportation device to take the package from UPS. He tells FedEx that the only way they can get the package back is to team up and defeat USPS. ("Act I Part 2")
Eventually, the duo find USPS' house, but only because it said so on his mailbox. The two then argue about how to enter before they decide to enter through the front door, being able to do so because it is unlocked. FedEx then takes the package from USPS while he isn't looking. USPS states that he can just teleport the package back to him, but UPS tells him that he did some rewiring earlier, making USPS have "irreversible power failure". Afterwards, UPS and FedEx tell USPS not to bother them again and leave.
Afterwards, UPS and FedEx arrive at Otacon's house and hand him the package. Both deliverymen are excited to see what is inside, but are angered when Otacon informs them that all it contained was Japanese anime (UPS being especially mad due to having wasted 9 hours delivering it). UPS then tells FedEx that he hates him once more and FedEx replies by saying the same thing and then both of them storm off, becoming enemies once again. ("Act I Part 3")
UPS is summoned by Luigi, whom UPS fails to remember at first, who gives him a flash drive filled with information on all the enemies that the Mushroom Force has met to be delivered to Professor Oak, so he can devise a battle strategy for them. UPS accepts and leaves for Oak's house. ("32 bit stealth training")
On his way, UPS is intercepted by FedEx and a legion of ninjas, who were sent by Ganon to steal the flash drive. UPS dismisses FedEx and the "Halloween-costumed freaks" and continues on his way until FedEx insults Ace of Base. Enraged, UPS defeats all the ninjas in the blink of an eye and knocks out FedEx with a single punch before departing. ("PIRATES VS NINJAS!")
UPS arrives to deliver the flash drive, but Professor Oak refuses to accept it and ignores his warnings about how important it is; UPS simply leaves. ("Operation: Vherestorm")
Brock later finds UPS outside of Qualcomm Stadium (having gone there because the UPS company used to own the stadium, before their share was bought out by FedEx). UPS confides his past to Brock before giving him the flash drive. He wishes them good luck, expressing his hope that the Mushroom Force wins the war. ("A "Brief" Meeting")
Meanwhile, at UPS Headquarters, UPS asks his new intern Francis if he delivered Mario and Luigi's packages to the right spot. Francis says he did, and says he sent it to Toronto, Canada, which turns out to be the wrong address. The packages end up being shipped to a Canadian. UPS scolds Francis for delivering the packages to the wrong address and orders him to get the packages to the right address at once. ("Stupid Mario Brothers Christmas")
UPS focuses on his work non-stop and puts all of his effort into making sure every customer gets their package on time and that it isn't damaged or stolen. He also loves to sing when he is traveling somewhere to deliver a package. He is commonly seen singing "The Sign" by Ace of Base to himself.
Despite being unable to pursue his dream as a major league football player, UPS seems to be quite comfortable with his job as a delivery man, as shown by his enthusiastic demeanor and outlook on life.
Abilities / SkillsEdit
UPS can fight normally, as well as have slap fights. He also can sing very well.
- Combat prowess: UPS is a very competent fighter. He has knocked out FedEx with a single punch on multiple occasions and even took at an entire force of ninjas in the blink of an eye.
- Singing: UPS is arguably the most talented singer of the entire Stupid Mario Brothers cast. As stated several times before, he is always singing "The Sign" by Ace of Base when he walks and filled in for Mario for the Johnny Mushroom and the Kingdoms concert.
- Package delivery: UPS delivers packages very quickly. He has the fastest delivery rate of all the package delivery men in the company.
- UPS was made the good package delivery man because Rich Alvarez's father worked for UPS.
- There was one letter UPS never delivered. In "Who is Scott Masterson?", UPS had another letter to deliver to Mario, but he was sick at the time and Luigi asked UPS to deliver it later. However, UPS never gave the letter to Mario and what is on the letter was never revealed.
- It seems that, besides the Christmas special, UPS is the only one who delivers the letters and packages, no one else, meaning he probably has no other employees, and delivers everything by himself.
- In "Special Delivery from a Guy dressed in Brown," UPS states that he only plays as Solid Snake in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
- In his first appearance, UPS wore a cap, but this didn't appear again in any later appearances until Season Five. In his first appearance, he wore a cap with a camo pattern, while in Season Five he wore one that was dark brown in colour.
- The line in the Season Five teaser during which UPS appears amusingly contains the phrase "Deliver us from evil."
- UPS is not a Chargers fan.
- He made a brief appearance in a post non-Stupid Mario Brothers skit, where he delivery a package to Chris Muller.