STUPID MARIO BROTHERS – EPISODE THREE TRANSCRIPT[]
[Voice Over, accompanied by the Super Mario Brothers theme. The usual intro is rudely interrupted.]
Mario and Luigi: Stupid Mario!
Wario: Losers!
Mario: Um, Episode Three?
[Cut to Wario's house. Wario is growing increasingly irritated from Luigi's ideas.]
Luigi: Hey, Wario, buddy. Wanna ride go-karts?
Wario: No. Moving vehicles make me noxious.
Luigi: Oh, that's okay. How 'bout tennis?
Wario: No. Too much moving around.
Luigi: Oh, all right. Soccer?
Wario: No! I have bad knees!
Luigi: Oh, okay. Well, how about we--
Wario: PLEASE?!
Wario: You know Luigi, you've been annoying the crap out of me so much you make my ulcer bleed! How 'bout you just go back to Mario?! Heh heh!
Luigi: Well, fine. I will.
Wario: Nyeh, nyeh...
[Luigi abandons Wario.]
Wario: Well good riddance, ya green piece-a crap! I'll get you back later when, uh, when, when I feel like it, weh...
[Mario and Luigi walk up to the mailbox again.]
Mario: What a surprise, another letter from-a Bowser!
Luigi: Indeed! Do read.
[Dreary music starts up. Gibberish voice over (Bra Bra Bra!) accompanied by subtitles.]
Bowser: Uh............... You guys still alive over there...? I mean, this ain't cool... I miss you... CALL ME!
[Music stops.]
Mario: I've just lost about all respect for that man...turtle, dinosaur! What ever that guy is!
Luigi: But Mario! Shouldn't we go back to the Mushroom Kingdom for just a little bit? I mean, who's-a going to feed Yoshi ?
Mario: Hmm... You know he's a big-a boy, he can feed himself!
Luigi: Okie day!
Mario: Want to go watch a movie?
Luigi: All right!
[Mario and Luigi run down the hill this time. The footage is noticeably played in reverse.]
[Cut to Mario and Luigi, now back at home. Music from the movie plays in the background]
Luigi: Oh! I love this scene!
Mario: You know, Peter Jackson didn't have a lot of money when he was making Fellowship of the Ring, so instead of lots of CGI special effects, he had to resort to practical effects and optical tricks!
Luigi: Mario, will you please shut up during this part of the movie, I'm trying to enjoy it.
Mario: Okay. Ooh, ooh, ooh! This is the part, where, where Gandalf and Saruman have a big fight-
Luigi: Mario! For the love of Goombas! Will you please just be quiet, and not talk!
Mario (mumbling): ...tell me I can't talk throughout the movie...
[Cut to a black screen with the words "12 HOURS LATER"]
Narrator: 12 hours later!
[Cut back to the brothers. Mario is now lightly weeping. Music from the movie still plays.]
Mario: I love that-a movie! Ohohoho...
Luigi: Mario! You talked throughout the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy! Now I'll never know what happens to Aragorn!
Mario: Oh, you didn't miss much, he dies!
Luigi: What!
Mario: Just kidding little brother, I got you pretty good! Boy, watching those movies sure was fun! I wonder what kind of movies Wario watches...
Luigi: Hmm...
[Cut to Wario, also watching a movie]
Wario: Weh! I love watching The Golden Compass!
[Cut back to Mario and Luigi]
Luigi: Yeah, I bet Wario watches really stupid movies.
Mario: Like The Golden Compass?
[Both laugh. The Narrator soon abruptly interrupts the laughter]
Narrator: Will Wario ever get better taste in movies? Will Luigi ever find out what happened to Aragorn? Will Peter Jackson ever make The Hobbit? And will Mario ever go on a date?
Mario: Oh shut up!
Narrator: Oh, um... find out next time on the amazing adventures of... Stupid Mario Brothers!
[Cut back to Wario]
Wario: Weh heh! I love polar bears! Peter Jackson sucks!
[Cut to a black screen with the URL of the Richalvarez channel. Short comedic cue plays.]